Monday, July 14, 2014

Mental Motivation Meltdown


 

I need motivation.  A major motivation makeover.  I have so many goals- so many dreams- so much vision for the future… but I keep falling short of everything I try.  I lack motivation.  I have the desire, but no follow through.  I have the want, but have lost the drive.  I need help.  I see myself in pictures and clothes.  I see the stares, I feel the judgment.  A former athlete that excelled, now reduced to a mid-20 stereotype.  I am not this person, but somehow I cannot muster the courage to shake the slump.  I have become the person that I judged- I have become complacent and filled with excuses.  I have let the negative thoughts overtake my mind.  It is time for a change.  Things MUST change.  I refuse to be the person that I look like on the outside.  It is time for inside to shine. 

 I wrote about this very topic in my Whole30 journey.  During that journey, I chronicled how I felt that I was becoming the person that I always felt I was on the inside.  The downfall was that I stopped short.  I completed the 30 days but should have kept going.  My body was changing, and mentally I had become stronger, but had not made the full transition.  It is time for a change.
Today is July 7, 2014.  Today my life will change.  Not tomorrow- today.  I must take care of myself if I expect anyone to find the worth in me.  In love, family, and career- my body and mind must change.  Today is that day. 

This is scary, and I feel very vulnerable, embarrassed and am swallowing a LARGE piece of humble pie… which is ironic- cause, you know, pie…- but nevertheless, today is that day, and I am attempting to make very public the one thing I have chosen to avoid talking about to anyone outside my immediate family for years.  

We're in this together.  Help me.  Help you.  Follow this journey and let us make dreams come true.  

Today’s workout:

  • ·         100 pushups

HIIT Play WOD- complements of Badass Fitness Studio (http://www.badassfitness.com/):

  • ·         20-10 Tabata: jump squats (20 seconds on, 10 seconds rest x8)
  • ·         50-10 x3: high knees run in place
  • ·         30-10 x4 pushups
  • ·         30-30 x2 tuck jumps
  • ·         40-20 x3 tricep dips
  • ·         20-10 Tabata burpees

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